A Year in Abby's Life
During my first semester as an RA, I arrived at my room after a long day of classes to find a note on my door. It was from one of my residents, a freshman Conservatory student. So I went over to talk with her. It turned out she was having doubts about her major. She loved music, but she just wasn't sure if she wanted to make a career out of it. I myself was an ex-Conservatory student, and I'd gone through the same struggle. I told her to listen to her heart and to discuss her thoughts with her parents before making a final decision.
Today, this young woman is flourishing in a different major that she thoroughly enjoys. She is still a member of the Chapel Choir, though, and she's kept her Conservatory friends.
I've found that one of the toughest things for freshmen to get used to is living with another person who is not family. It's an extremely educational experience.
School had been in session for only two months when one of my residents came to me with complaints about her roommate. The two girls had known each other before college, and to me they seemed to be getting along fine. But they clashed in several important ways. One liked going to bed early; the other was a night person. One was organized; the other less so.
I told the resident to talk with her roommate and work out a system of compromises. I offered to help them if they needed a referee. And for a while, things seemed to settle down. But in the end, my resident decided that she needed her own space. Although they didn't make good roommates, the two girls are still friends.
The college dating scene is fascinating to observe. I've seen outgoing students who date a lot but don't have serious relationships. Other students want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend as soon as they start college. There's plenty of drama to go around.
One night, one of my girls came to my room really upset. She'd dated casually throughout the year, but nothing too involved. One of her close friends had just admitted that he had feelings for her, and she wasn't sure how to handle the situation. She did not want to lose him as a friend.
As it happened, I had gone through something very similar myself. So I told the girl she needed to think hard about how she really felt about her friend. "Don't date him just to save your friendship," I advised. I never knew how things turned out. But I still see the girl and her male friend together on campus, so I guess things must be OK.
I'm always thrilled to meet my new batch of residents in the fall. I try my best to make them feel at home in the residence hall and to be there for them when they need support. It's a privilege to participate in the lives of students and to see them change and grow throughout the year.