Navigating Interpersonal Relationships Post Pandemic
Laura Boser-Kane, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Sociology and Criminology
Many of us find ourselves confused about how to navigate our work, school, and familial relationships since the emergence of a new global virus. The well-meaning advice to abandon some of our traditions like hugs, handshakes, and in-person learning has left us perplexed about what is okay and what is not. Below you will find recommendations for helping young adults secure a successful transition from high school to college as we move through new phases of COVID-19.
For School Counselors: Independence and Engagement
As students transition from high school to college, they will be expected to be more independent. Some students assume that independence means that they need to do everything by themselves and that asking for help is a weakness. If your student holds these assumptions, let them know in college, part of independence is knowing when to seek advice and ask for help. Professors and advisors of college students want what is best for their students. Encouraging students early to be honest about what is important to them sets up a habit of reflection that will help them get the most out of their education. Advisors will not be offended if students switch their major to another subject; they really do want to know what classes the student wants to take, what their interests are (including hobbies and outside work), and what they will be doing with breaks and vacations. Unlike high school, professors set their own policies, reading lists, and activities for their courses. Policies will vary from professor to professor about items like grades, attendance, and out of class time. Working with students to seek out answers to their own questions will help them to be more successful independent learners when they encounter these differences in college.
Due to the isolation from COVID-19 protocols, many students have experienced the loneliness of online learning. While online learning can be a fantastic tool for equity and some online classes can create amazing learning opportunities, students do need in-person relationships with a variety of their peers. In high school, students should connect with their classroom peers (through study groups, homework groups, and active learning techniques like groups working on problem-based learning). This will likely occur naturally if the courses are in-person, but reminding students that learning does not need to be a solo activity can encourage them to reach out to their academic peers, especially now when they may have lost some of those social skills. Additionally, you can help students to identify and foster their non-academic interests so that when they come to college, they are ready to engage in co-curricular activities like sports, hobbies, identity-affiliated groups, and/or groups that are based on their interests. The research is clear: student engagement with their class material, professors, and other students boosts the likelihood of success. What should not be discounted, though, is the impact of co-curricular activities. These engagement opportunities are also related to success in that they provide some protective effects against poor mental health and lend themselves to opportunities to develop leadership and decision-making skills.
For Parents and Guardians: Boundaries and Bravery
When students enter college, they form many new relationships. Navigating this new territory, especially if they live on campus, can be both intimidating and confusing. Creating space now at home where your teenager feels safe, can help them to foster communication skills that they will need as they develop new friendships and working relationships in college. At home, allow your teen to discuss their needs and set boundaries. If they will live on campus in the future, working on how to tell the difference between needs and desires can help them prepare for navigating conflict with their future roommate(s). Practice using “I” statements with your teenager so that they can express their feelings without blaming or shaming the other party.
Finally, it is important for prospective students to realize that they may have different expectations, experiences, and backgrounds compared to others at their college or university. As they change environments from the safety of home to the unfamiliar, it is helpful for incoming students to be prepared to be brave when encountering new situations, conversations, and relationships. Providing opportunities for your student to practice being vulnerable, reflective, thoughtful, empathetic, and to use active listening strategies will help them be ready to grow as learners on the field, in the classroom, and in their residence.
About Laura Boser-Kane, Ph.D.
Dr. Laura Boser-Kane is teacher-scholar whose research interests include the intersection of social controls, norms, and laws. She has served Capital University as a faculty fellow for community engagement and worked as a senior faculty advisor in the Advising Office. In the classroom, Dr. Boser-Kane is excited about using community-engaged pedagogy and ungrading practices. Recently, Dr. Boser-Kane received Capital University’s Praestantia Award for Outstanding Teaching.